Just this evening I shared with a security guard (who has been criticizing the behavior of a fellow shopper) my theory on the frustrations of LA traffic which, if I let it, can reduce my foul outburst at those who share the road with me. LA enjoys a population drawn from, quite literally, at least 80%, perhaps more, of the countries on Earth. The drivers in LA learn their "rules of the road" in different places with different cultures and different tolerances. What to me violates the laws I was taught (and the set of them I follow and expect others to follow) could be completely in line with driving in Nigeria, Russia, France or Mexico or Seoul or Paraguay. In Mexico City, for example, a three lane road turns into five during rush hours, the lines in the roadway completely ignored then. I has nothing to do with speeding things up. To the contrary it causes frequent chaos and produces impossible choke points. But, it's fine. LA, though, differs in an important respect. Other places like New York City or London are filled with citizens willing to take on the job of correcting anyone breaking local rules. I've been yelled at in France even in a sleepy coastal town in the south under a relaxing sun. But in LA, we just let it be and tend to yell in the car, windows closed, air conditioning on. Inherently we are either irresponsible or understanding.
You’ve put your finger on the issue of value overlap and gap that affects all multicultural gathering and community-forming.
This is an issue that Stephen Miller is seeking to address in a violent and inhuman manner. It is encapsulated in the “America as melting pot, Canada as tapestry” contrast. Every liberal democracy that is dealing with immigration (including Canada) is faced with the consequences of these values gaps, which present as moving targets with simultaneous opportunities and problems.
The issue is not going to disappear.
Mutual understanding can help, and you’ve illustrated that as well. But it is not a solution, just a basis for a beginning.
Just so well written and perceptive of the greater and lesser things we have to deal with each day. 'You have to go along to get along." how many times have we heard that? And so how far are you willing to go along without violating your conscience and personal red line? This piece touched me personally because I was in a car accident in December by a vehicle that was speeding. Five young people in the car, Only two wearing seat belts, the minor girly in the back seat was thrown out the front window and the driver had no insurance. I sustained two fractured vertebrae. I am pretty well healed now. We REALLY ARE all in this together!
Hello Stuart, a bit late getting to respond to this initial thread. Thanks for opening discussion on a subject area and the current timeframe of world and community events that has most of us challenged.
I can recall in my minds eye, yourself in your shiny shoes and pants with the neat crease, listening to the corporate ask for additional service and privilege. I as well, shared similar experiences just down King street, as you recall, at City Hall. I replaced shiny shoes in my case, with my go to a heirloom silk tie when making presentations to city council for advancement of funds for cultural programming. I found my foot swaying nervously under my chair as well at a lot of these sessions.
Similar feelings and personal feelings at stake, and interestingly, taking place for both of us at about mid career, the stakes seem high and battles for credibility seemed so important.
I only mention age and timeframe in this context and example to posit and wonder how age and maturity, moving towards an authentic self with aging brings clarity.
Given the benefit of a few more years under my belt, and the luxury of time to live a life that feels like movement towards a self that is more comfortable, can I have a clearer perspective than my younger self. Does age allow us the benefit of growing more centered, moving towards individualization that the conflicts of a younger self and all of the social constructions that provided stress and perceived conflicts are less important now....should we needed to to be so conflicted in past situations.
Part of my time spent for me now is revisiting readings, musings and thought. I find it interesting to revisit some of the early thinkers of psychology, psychotherapy, philosophy etc. Carl Jung saw
our experience as one that attempts to move towards individuation and our authentic self. He suggested that that movement towards individuation causes conflict with the personas we adopt to present ourselves in our socially constructed world......well my interpretation in a humble nut shell.
So, what to do with the early life situations that caused stresses and challenged our values and sense of being at the time.......are they inevitable, or is it just a matter of.......this too shall pass!
Is life experience necessary for us to have the tools to prepare for our self journey and to serve community better......or is this conflict with emerging societal values an important part of becoming our self.
p.s Stuart, I don't a pair of shoes now that I need to shine, and I got rid of all of my heirloom silk ties....wish I kept a few.
Thanks for your response, and sharing your own similar journey.
I do agree that as we age, we have more opportunity to work with authentic self. We are so busy, especially those of us with families to care for, working out the ways of love. What passes for "clarity" in those days is more along the lines of knowing what actions to take and when to tajke them.
The psycho-spiritual writers (e.g., C.G. Jung, Richard Rohr, Wendell Berry, Stephen Charleston) are where I end up a lot of the time, these days. But that's because I have more time to be reflective, and have lived long enough to know that what my contemplative associates call "inner work" is always there to do.
Just this evening I shared with a security guard (who has been criticizing the behavior of a fellow shopper) my theory on the frustrations of LA traffic which, if I let it, can reduce my foul outburst at those who share the road with me. LA enjoys a population drawn from, quite literally, at least 80%, perhaps more, of the countries on Earth. The drivers in LA learn their "rules of the road" in different places with different cultures and different tolerances. What to me violates the laws I was taught (and the set of them I follow and expect others to follow) could be completely in line with driving in Nigeria, Russia, France or Mexico or Seoul or Paraguay. In Mexico City, for example, a three lane road turns into five during rush hours, the lines in the roadway completely ignored then. I has nothing to do with speeding things up. To the contrary it causes frequent chaos and produces impossible choke points. But, it's fine. LA, though, differs in an important respect. Other places like New York City or London are filled with citizens willing to take on the job of correcting anyone breaking local rules. I've been yelled at in France even in a sleepy coastal town in the south under a relaxing sun. But in LA, we just let it be and tend to yell in the car, windows closed, air conditioning on. Inherently we are either irresponsible or understanding.
You’ve put your finger on the issue of value overlap and gap that affects all multicultural gathering and community-forming.
This is an issue that Stephen Miller is seeking to address in a violent and inhuman manner. It is encapsulated in the “America as melting pot, Canada as tapestry” contrast. Every liberal democracy that is dealing with immigration (including Canada) is faced with the consequences of these values gaps, which present as moving targets with simultaneous opportunities and problems.
The issue is not going to disappear.
Mutual understanding can help, and you’ve illustrated that as well. But it is not a solution, just a basis for a beginning.
Thanks for engaging with this!
Stuart,
Just so well written and perceptive of the greater and lesser things we have to deal with each day. 'You have to go along to get along." how many times have we heard that? And so how far are you willing to go along without violating your conscience and personal red line? This piece touched me personally because I was in a car accident in December by a vehicle that was speeding. Five young people in the car, Only two wearing seat belts, the minor girly in the back seat was thrown out the front window and the driver had no insurance. I sustained two fractured vertebrae. I am pretty well healed now. We REALLY ARE all in this together!
Hello Stuart, a bit late getting to respond to this initial thread. Thanks for opening discussion on a subject area and the current timeframe of world and community events that has most of us challenged.
I can recall in my minds eye, yourself in your shiny shoes and pants with the neat crease, listening to the corporate ask for additional service and privilege. I as well, shared similar experiences just down King street, as you recall, at City Hall. I replaced shiny shoes in my case, with my go to a heirloom silk tie when making presentations to city council for advancement of funds for cultural programming. I found my foot swaying nervously under my chair as well at a lot of these sessions.
Similar feelings and personal feelings at stake, and interestingly, taking place for both of us at about mid career, the stakes seem high and battles for credibility seemed so important.
I only mention age and timeframe in this context and example to posit and wonder how age and maturity, moving towards an authentic self with aging brings clarity.
Given the benefit of a few more years under my belt, and the luxury of time to live a life that feels like movement towards a self that is more comfortable, can I have a clearer perspective than my younger self. Does age allow us the benefit of growing more centered, moving towards individualization that the conflicts of a younger self and all of the social constructions that provided stress and perceived conflicts are less important now....should we needed to to be so conflicted in past situations.
Part of my time spent for me now is revisiting readings, musings and thought. I find it interesting to revisit some of the early thinkers of psychology, psychotherapy, philosophy etc. Carl Jung saw
our experience as one that attempts to move towards individuation and our authentic self. He suggested that that movement towards individuation causes conflict with the personas we adopt to present ourselves in our socially constructed world......well my interpretation in a humble nut shell.
So, what to do with the early life situations that caused stresses and challenged our values and sense of being at the time.......are they inevitable, or is it just a matter of.......this too shall pass!
Is life experience necessary for us to have the tools to prepare for our self journey and to serve community better......or is this conflict with emerging societal values an important part of becoming our self.
p.s Stuart, I don't a pair of shoes now that I need to shine, and I got rid of all of my heirloom silk ties....wish I kept a few.
Dignity is the birthright of each and every human being.
Unity is no longer possible without diversity.
Peaceful co-existence is no longer possible without reciprocal understanding.
Thanks for this!
…and here is the work: how do we get there? ;-)
Mike,
Thanks for your response, and sharing your own similar journey.
I do agree that as we age, we have more opportunity to work with authentic self. We are so busy, especially those of us with families to care for, working out the ways of love. What passes for "clarity" in those days is more along the lines of knowing what actions to take and when to tajke them.
The psycho-spiritual writers (e.g., C.G. Jung, Richard Rohr, Wendell Berry, Stephen Charleston) are where I end up a lot of the time, these days. But that's because I have more time to be reflective, and have lived long enough to know that what my contemplative associates call "inner work" is always there to do.